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Quitting Made Easy

By Phil Eich

When I started coaching football, I wanted to the be the coach who would mold young men in his image - recounting heroic tales of valor on the
gridiron, telling stories about courage and sacrifice.

And while there were a couple of those (and mostly exaggerated for effect) one story I always told with simple honesty:
Sophomore year, I quit.

Halfway through the season, I told my parents I didn’t want to play anymore. I made up some things about worrying about concussions and my
future, when in reality, football was hard. It was my first year playing, it was difficult, and my brother was already playing varsity and I was living in
his shadow.

We talked about it, and they said that if I wanted to quit, I had to tell the coaches myself. So one day I walked into the coach’s office and said,
“Coach, I need to quit.”

I told him the same made up things about concussions and my future, and skipped the stuff about football being difficult and my brother being
better than me.

He told me, “I’ll let you quit, but remember that when you quit something, quitting everything else gets easier.”
I quit anyway, and he was right.
How to Help Kids Who Want to Give Up
Helping your child cope with feelings of wanting to give up is part of the experience of parenting a young athlete.
This is definitely a case-by-case situation, and there are times where quitting a sport might be appropriate (such as with grades or medical reasons)
but here are some tips for figuring out those instances where the answer may not be so clear:
Ask “why” before telling them what to do - Helping your child understand feelings of wanting to quit will help them in more than just sports. Feel-
ings of wanting to give up will appear in their relationships, jobs, parenting, and many other situations for the rest of their lives, so seize the opportu-
nity to help them figure those feelings out for themselves.
Explain the consequences - Typically kids will only think about this to the point of “I want to quit.” Explaining that there might be social and emo-
tional consequences outside of simply no longer playing a sport is important to learning that big decisions can have big consequences.
Rule of Thumb #1: Don’t give up - Especially in a time when kids are surrounded by unlimited options that are immediately available, giving up is
sometimes as simple as changing their minds because they’re not accustomed to being uncomfortable. Commitment is learned by facing things that are
unpleasant or undesired, and this is a great opportunity to learn. Don’t let “I just don’t like it” fly a valid reason to give up.
If you feel like you need to extend an olive branch, tell them “We’ll talk about it when the season is over. Until then, continue to work hard.”
But, in the rare instance where your parental instincts tell you that quitting might be an appropriate decision, look for a second opinion. You might
need more information before giving your child advice. Talk to a spouse, other parents, teacher, or coaches. What do they see? What do they think?
They might be able to give your a different perspective on how to best help your child.
Part of our responsibilities as adults is to prepare children for their futures, and that includes teaching them how to cope with feelings of wanting
to give up in the face of their own responsibilities and commitments. Preparing for these conversations before they happen can go a long way in giving
them the appropriate tools they need to learn skills that extend beyond a sports season.

Joe Stewart, MSW, CF-L2,
USAW L2
Owner
Mission 1 Fitness LLC
1900A W. Caro Rd.
Caro, MI 48723
(989) 553-1044
www.missiononefitness.com

Mission 1 Apparel
www.mission1apparel.com

32 • Sports Finest Magazine DEC 2017 sportsfinestMagzine.com 989 672 0799 kelly@sportsfinestmagazine.com